Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
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