So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
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