Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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