you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize