i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
