Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
