New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
