have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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