I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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