rhymes with "ouble enetration"
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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