Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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