it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
whose parrot is this?
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
