Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Randomize