you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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