watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
