I hate your face
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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