Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
