You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
