im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
She said her name was "party"
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
