you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
