how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
