i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i was born a porn star she said
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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