operation have a gay friend backfired
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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