I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
