i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
