it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
