The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
