I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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