Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
This house was built for laser tag.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
