that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
