I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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