I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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