My first STD was from a foam party
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
