She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
