I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
