I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
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She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
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I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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