I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
