My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
