If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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