the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
