paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
