i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
