I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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