I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
