idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
