I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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