just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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