covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
