Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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