Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
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