i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
