Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
