I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
