Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
My vagina is very pro this idea
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