i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
