He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
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you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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