She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
